definitely not the way i though it was going to turn out

The 'Tit Guy' Myth

I don’t understand “boob guys”. Personally, I’m an ass man. Don’t get me wrong-I love tits as much as the next guy, but there’s no way I’m gonna send my dick on vacation with a girl just because of her rack. But an ass that won’t quit is a completely different story. She could have a burn victim’s face, old droopy chewed up tits, and Fran Drescher’s laugh but as long as she had an incredible ass I’d be down. A girl with a nice rack and nothing else will only turn your head and get your attention for about a 1/2 second. That’s all they are, attention getters, and the only reason they’re better attention grabbers than asses is because they’re closer to eye level. Even “boob men” check out a chick’s ass after the boobs get their attention. Whenever a guy walks by some decent looking chick his head immediately turns on a dime and checks out the ass, ALWAYS. And if it doesn’t, then you can put all your money on him owning the Sex & The City boxset and loooooving Chelsey Handler. Actually, I’m going to go as far as saying there is no such thing as “boob men”. Yes, men like boobs but guys who claim to be “boob men” just say that shit because they think it sounds gay to say they prefer a nice juicy ass to a set of funbags. And where the fuck did that name for tits come from? Funbags? Really dude? I guess they’re fun to look at, grope, and are great handles but I’m not writing home about any boobs. Do you remember when you were younger and you touched boobies for the first time? Pretty fun, I know, but do you remember how quickly you got bored with ‘em and tried to move on to bigger and greater things? Yeah dude, it was like a couple of minutes and the only reason it was that long is because your brain was busy cumming its pants. Once it cleaned itself up and composed itself it was like “Alright dude, enough with these silly boob things. Lets see if we can claw our little paw down those GAP jeans.” I like boobs, all men do. It’s hard not to. Physical attraction is all about accentuating the physical differences from the other sex. And boobs serve that purpose quite well, but being that gay for boobs just makes you sound like that little faggot from Look Who’s Talking.