Pride Week was as predictable and boring as Sex & The City 2

Do gays not give a shit about anything but attention? I mean what the fuck is the point of the pride parade? It sure as hell isn’t to change normal folks perception of them. If anything it just reinforces stereotypes. Like roller-skating down Market Street with nothing on but a rainbow cape, pulling your partner behind you on a leash doesn’t really get normies jazzed about you being able to adopt children and get married with health benefits. I understand the whole ‘we’re here, we’re queer, get over it’ thing and more power to you. But what might be more surprising to conservative Joe and effective to your cause is if you wore street/work clothes in the parade. If you just want to have a gay old time (pun intended) and throw a big party, then fine. But if you really wanted to surprise some closed minded assholes and get them to rethink their stance on gay rights, you might want to tone it down a smidge. I mean what would you rather regular folk walk away thinking?
Whelp, the gays are at it again.
or
Oh shit. My proctologist is gay? Learn something new everyday.
You know what? On second thought, just keep partying and being fabulous.

'I fucking hate tourists'

Oh, ok. I get it. You’ve lived here for 3 years. So now you’re soooo local that you can’t stand people visiting ‘your city.’ How do you even deal with tourists enough for them to piss you off? What, do you frequent tourist hot spots? You spend most of your time at the fucking golden gate bridge and fisherman’s wharf? That’s fucking embarrassing. Listen, I love pulling my pants down and waving my skinny, pimpled, hairy ass at tour buses as much as the next guy. But that’s because it’s fun to moon people, not because I hate tourists and everything they stand for. Do you never leave the city? If so, then you’re a hermit. And if not, then you’re a hypocrite. And I can’t decide which is worse.
P.S.
You’re pretty much a tourist on extended stay. Get over yourself.

Homeboy needs to check out "2 Girls 1 Cup"

Wait a fucking second here. You’re telling me you’re a fucking doctor, but you use the word ‘poo poo?’ I thought you scholarly types said ‘feces.’ And what’s this shit about ‘anal licking?’ If you had actually done your research you’d know it’s called tossing salad. What is this, amateur hour? No one’s going to take your crusade against homosexuality seriously, if you can’t even get the lingo down. Step your game up, bro.
P.S. It’d probably help if your buddies weren’t giggling the whole entire time.