'I fucking hate tourists'

Oh, ok. I get it. You’ve lived here for 3 years. So now you’re soooo local that you can’t stand people visiting ‘your city.’ How do you even deal with tourists enough for them to piss you off? What, do you frequent tourist hot spots? You spend most of your time at the fucking golden gate bridge and fisherman’s wharf? That’s fucking embarrassing. Listen, I love pulling my pants down and waving my skinny, pimpled, hairy ass at tour buses as much as the next guy. But that’s because it’s fun to moon people, not because I hate tourists and everything they stand for. Do you never leave the city? If so, then you’re a hermit. And if not, then you’re a hypocrite. And I can’t decide which is worse.
P.S.
You’re pretty much a tourist on extended stay. Get over yourself.