Skull fuck Muni? Skull Fuck teachers who bring their field-trips on Muni.

How can somebody responsible for educating our youth be so fucking retarded? What the fuck are you thinking, taking 30 loud little nose-picking walking shit-stains on Muni? I thought teachers were supposed to be smart. If you don't have enough chaperones to transport the little fuckers by car, then you don't have enough chaperones to make sure one of them doesn't end up at the bottom of the bay. Consider this a warning and a promise. Next time you bring your "little bumblebees," or whatever gay little nickname you've given your 3rd grade class, on Muni I'm going to abduct one of the bastards and murder the shit out of em.

The Examiner- Know a pregnant smoker who's planning to quit the instant she gives birth? Speed-dial her and say, "Not soon enough!" A study of 8- to 16-year-olds shows that kids exposed to smoke in the womb are six times more likely to have asthma than children of nonsmokers. And smoking is now tied to between 5 percent and 8 percent of premature births.
If you didn't quit before you were pregnant, don't waste energy feeling guilty. Quit now!!! And don't let anyone smoke near you or your kids. Just so you're clear, here are the dangers of secondhand smoke: New research shows that 23 percent to 34 percent of deaths caused by Sudden Infant Death Syndrome could have been prevented if the mothers had quit. Kids inhaling secondhand smoke are more vulnerable to lung and ear infections; school-age children have more behavior problems; and those with asthma are twice as likely to miss school.

What is this, 1950? How the fuck do you not already know that smoking 'cancer sticks' is bad for your baby? The idea that smoking is bad for you and anything around you is older than me. What's worse than smoking while you've got a bun in the oven, is contributing to the gene pool while being retarded enough to not know that pregos shouldn't smoke. Here's a fucking idea. Don't bother trying to quit smoking. Do yourself, your bouncing bundle of cancer, and the rest of mankind a favor and throw yourself off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Happy 4th of July

Pride Week was as predictable and boring as Sex & The City 2

Do gays not give a shit about anything but attention? I mean what the fuck is the point of the pride parade? It sure as hell isn’t to change normal folks perception of them. If anything it just reinforces stereotypes. Like roller-skating down Market Street with nothing on but a rainbow cape, pulling your partner behind you on a leash doesn’t really get normies jazzed about you being able to adopt children and get married with health benefits. I understand the whole ‘we’re here, we’re queer, get over it’ thing and more power to you. But what might be more surprising to conservative Joe and effective to your cause is if you wore street/work clothes in the parade. If you just want to have a gay old time (pun intended) and throw a big party, then fine. But if you really wanted to surprise some closed minded assholes and get them to rethink their stance on gay rights, you might want to tone it down a smidge. I mean what would you rather regular folk walk away thinking?
Whelp, the gays are at it again.
or
Oh shit. My proctologist is gay? Learn something new everyday.
You know what? On second thought, just keep partying and being fabulous.

'I fucking hate tourists'

Oh, ok. I get it. You’ve lived here for 3 years. So now you’re soooo local that you can’t stand people visiting ‘your city.’ How do you even deal with tourists enough for them to piss you off? What, do you frequent tourist hot spots? You spend most of your time at the fucking golden gate bridge and fisherman’s wharf? That’s fucking embarrassing. Listen, I love pulling my pants down and waving my skinny, pimpled, hairy ass at tour buses as much as the next guy. But that’s because it’s fun to moon people, not because I hate tourists and everything they stand for. Do you never leave the city? If so, then you’re a hermit. And if not, then you’re a hypocrite. And I can’t decide which is worse.
P.S.
You’re pretty much a tourist on extended stay. Get over yourself.

Homeboy needs to check out "2 Girls 1 Cup"

Wait a fucking second here. You’re telling me you’re a fucking doctor, but you use the word ‘poo poo?’ I thought you scholarly types said ‘feces.’ And what’s this shit about ‘anal licking?’ If you had actually done your research you’d know it’s called tossing salad. What is this, amateur hour? No one’s going to take your crusade against homosexuality seriously, if you can’t even get the lingo down. Step your game up, bro.
P.S. It’d probably help if your buddies weren’t giggling the whole entire time.

Chivalry is dead…if you’re a dipshit

Yes, women can vote, serve in the military, and no longer have to be secretaries to be in the workplace. But they’re still women. I know they say they want to be treated as equals, but that’s just with the important shit. You don’t have to open doors and pull out chairs, but you still have to pay for shit, walk them home at night, and fight a dude if he’s being fresh (no matter how big he is). You seriously think it’s a good idea to let a girl walk home alone late at night in a city? You’re a fucking idiot.
“What ever dude. They want to be treated as equals.”
You seriously believe that shit? Check back with me when you’ve resorted to bringing call girls to family functions so your family doesn’t think you’re gay.