Apart from peanuts & chips, there should be no eating at the bar

We’ve all been there. You’re at the local watering hole, knocking back a couple (10+) cold ones with the homies, shooting the shit, when you realize you haven’t had anything to eat all day except for a cup of coffee and a bag of chips. You should probably put something in your stomach. Or else in 20 minutes you’re going to be as sloppy and annoying as that sad, drunk, middle-aged woman who won’t shut the fuck up about the horses she used to own down at the other end of the bar. Go get that burrito you know you want and need. Just do the rest of us a favor and finish it before returning. The bar isn’t your fucking living room. If you really need to eat something that bad you should probably take a teeny weeny break from pouring Pabst down your throat. What’s the fucking rush? Are you afraid you’re going to miss something or those hunnydips are going to start talking to your homies? No girl is going to approach a half-shitfaced dude at a bar cramming a burrito into his face. Except for maybe horse-lady. Finish that shit at El Beanerino.